Are You Having Doubt About Your Rewriting? Me Too.

Steps on for how to rewrite your novel.

1. Put it aside for a little while.
           

2. Read it.

I have read my novel.

I want to hide it under the bed never to let it see the light of day again.

Yeah, it's bad. It's embarrassing bad.

What was I thinking?

I wanted to start the rewrite on December 1st.  What day is it?  December 15!

I hoped that it wouldn't be much I had to work on this time, but this story still doesn't have a good villain or conflict. I thought I ironed this little crease out. Apparently not.

Once again I have a few good scenes but they mean nothing if I don't have good conflict. The parts where the conflict fade or doesn't exist are silly. I knew I didn't have a strong ending but I thought it was because I needed a break from the story. I took a two months break.

I want to enter a writing contest in August called PitchWars. Can I make it?

Self doubt has settled in like a fog in my brain, with a lock. A big one, the size of my head.

So my second piece of advice: read your story and find all plot holes.

You might keep finding them but don't let it freeze you like it has me.

Now I just want to take a nap or work on my to do list for the New Year's.  Or maybe I'll go work on this novel and let it live. Maybe.....

My Adventure of Rewriting My Novel Part 1

My first piece of advice is to put it aside. 

I say for 3-6 months if you can. Yes, writers who just finished your NaNoWriMo novel of 50,000 words put your precious book baby a way for 3- 6 months. 

Congratulation! You wrote 50,000 words in a 30 days! I'm telling you don't jump right into rewrite.

Personally, I think it's a quick way to hit burnout if you jump right into rewrite after finishing the first draft.

If you think you can't stand to be away from your precious for 3-6 months try a month.

I'm working on my 4th draft (I think ) of my NaNoWriMo novel from 2016. I finished the 3rd draft in October. So I put in a way for 2 months. 

The first time was 3 months, but I didn't write 50,000 words that November. It took me 3 months to finish writing it. That was my second time to try to write the same story idea. And I tried to rewrite it that July. 

Key word here is tried.

I'm not a fast writer. 

I think I've been working on this same story idea for 3 - 4 years. I happened to like what I wrote in November of 2016.

So first thing to do is to put aside that story. My advice is to work on something else. I know it will be hard but it'll be worth it.

Next post will be about what I discovered about my novel after re-reading it after 2 months. 

Should You Try NaNoWriMo if You're a Slow Writer?

I found this image here, and added the question.

Should you try NaNoWriMo if you're a slow writer?

Yes! (short answer)

(Long answer)

In case you don't know what Nation Novel Writing Month is, most people call it NaNoWriMo, it's a writing challenge where writers young, old, experience, and new from all over the world (not just the USA where the idea was formed) will dare to write 50,000 words in 30 days. 

If you want to sign up, you can click here to get to theNaNoWriMo's website or Google it.

Just so you know I'm not ready. I'm freaking out. I have decided on the names for my hero and heroine, Nathan and Lacey. I have one scene floating around in my head but it's not the opening scene. It's a meeting between the two love interests at a Ugly Christmas Sweater party.

Yes, I'm writing a Christmas romance this November, a different direction then my usual young adults novels that I have been trying to write for years.

If you feel like you can't write 50,000 words in 30 days I'll let you know something.  I have never "won" NaNoWriMo. According to the website I have been a member for 11 years. In that time I have never written 50,000 words by the deadline. 

So don't let that stop you from signing up for this amazing experience!

The most I wrote during that time was 26,002 words in 2015. I wrote 25,707 words last year. Both of these novels were different attempts on the same story idea. A story idea I did finish writing a 3rd rewrite last month.  I wrote the 2nd rewrite of that novel during Camp NaNaWriMo this past July.

I will write an 4th rewrite of that novel beginning December 1st.  I'm taking a break from this novel and starting something new for NaNoWriMo.

While I have never "won" the writing challenge, it has helped me write a complete novel and two very horrible can't be called novels...projects. Not sure I'll ever look at those again.  Those "novels" were not written in anyway called a fast manner. I'd write about 100-500 words a day through December-April. Will try my luck at Camp NaNoWriMo in April, but I usually didn't get anywhere near my 25,000 words goal. I'd continue to write the same novel for Camp NaNoWriMo in July. In August I'd see on Twitter the #PitchWars Mentors tweets and wish to the point of making myself sick, that I can enter but my novel was nowhere near readable.

I'm saying I'm a slow writer like you, but I enter NaNoWriMo every year. I love the support I find there. I love the writing advice/ pep talk I get every week, and love to look at the pep talk archive. My favorites are from Marissa Meyer, Maureen Johnson and Neil Gaiman to name a few. (Now, I want to go back and look at the archive again to find inspiration to get started)

I enjoy finding new writers on Twitter to write with during the writing sprints. Since it's all over the world there no telling who you'll connect with during this time. I have an amazing twitter group with people from all around the world I chat on twitter message with during this time. I think I've been part of the chat for two years. This would not have happened if I didn't sign up for NaNoWriMo.

Aslo you know how I said I wanted to enter an writing contest called #PitchWars over on twitter.  Well, I'm going to enter in August 2018, no matter what I'm entering. With the novel I wrote 25,707 words on last NaNoWriMo(2016.) I would not have this novel if it wasn't for NaNoWriMo.

I think you should go sign up. Leave your NaNoWriMo's ID in the comments when you do and I'll add you to my writing buddies. If you have twitter leave your twitter name and your need to join #TurtleWriters. It's the craziest group of writers I know on Twitter.

A little bit about my new NaNoWriMo project.

A short synopsis of my novel:

A single woman want to experience the magic of Christmas romance. She has a list of all things magical about Christmas. But she has two problems. One she's need a man and two she's lives in the South where it rarely snows, must less snow to have a sleigh ride before Christmas. A heartbroken man just want to make it through the season.

I really hope you join me!

I wish you happy writing, and a wonderful blessed day.

Book Review: The Third Kiss

Do you like the good guy that bad stuff happen to for no reason or do you like the bad boy that cause bad stuff to happen to him?

I wondered this as I read The Third Kiss by Kat Colmer. The story about Jonas, master of meaningless hookups. The perfect bad boy, right? I mean you read this and think "Oh he's going to find the girl who isn't a meaningless hookup. I can't wait!"  But then you meet Jonas, at his 18th birthday party and he receive a letter warning  him about a love curse. He has only three more chances, and by chances I mean.. you guess it, kisses to find his true love. If he doesn't kiss his true love he'll miss his chance.

So is the bad boy going to change his ways?

This was what I was hoping to read: the bad boy changes his ways before the curse get him.

But Jonas is a good guy, he's already given up his meaningless hookups ways. But the girls around him, including his sister and the girl he likes (his best friend) don't realized this. The girls at party are all like kiss me Jonas, and he's not interested but then the girls kiss him.

If this sound like a book you want to read, go buy the book. You'll love it. Don't read any farther on this review.

See...

I didn't finish this book. I don't care if Jonas find out why he's curse or if he and his best friend kiss and break the curse. I don't care.

 Jonas's is a good guy who has bad things happen to him. I want the bad boy that cause the bad stuff to happen and he need to fix it or a the good guy who makes the wrong decisions and messes up and has to fix it. I didn't see this in The Third Kiss by Kat Colmer.  Sorry but I didn't care about the good guy Jonas who wasn't driving the plot forward. 

With Self Doubt: Am I Good Enough?

 It was suggested over on Twitter that I write about Self-Doubt. I don't know about you but for me - talk about the Mother Lobe, the thing that many things flow.

I have self doubt in:

Searching for a job.

Dating (I wouldn't call what I do, dating. Don't have a clue how to put myself out there.)

And in writing.

I mean I suffered from self-doubt since I was nine years old in third grade. You know the year that girls start whispering, also the year I noticed that this hearing loss made me different. Something I never felt with my family, but at school that year I noticed it. It started when the other girls around me whispered. It grew to the overwhelm self hate and self doubt that I wasn't good enough.

I remember telling my mother that no one in my class liked me. She, of course, went to my teacher. I remember the confuse look on my teacher's face, because it wasn't true. I built it up in my mind from my own self dislike. I mean if you're talking to a group of girls on the playground and all at once they run away because in a spit second they decided to go play elsewhere and you didn't hear the one sentence that decided that. What would you think?

By the way this is also the year I realized that my spelling and reading skills were not at the level of my classmates.

I spent two hours in the class for the hard of hearing working on those skills. This also told me I was different. But that classroom was a safe place. I wasn't different from the teenagers in that class that were also hard of hearing. I was the youngest in the class.  

I think that the year my shyness grew to point that it was painful for me to come out of my shell to talk to anyone.

See lots of self doubt.

I didn't know about introverts and extroverts. I also didn't realize that the first time I meet someone I need to "learn" how they sound, how they talk and their body language .

I know this now so I'm quiet the first time I meet someone in a group, or since I've gotten older I learned how to get people talking so I don't have to.  

Over the years I searched for the thing called self confidence. I even went to an all girls' college because on the campus tour I heard that girls who went to all girls' school had more confidence. It shocked everyone that I chose to go to an out of town college. I was that shy.

I found self confidence for a little while. Well, enough to somewhat come out of my shell. It still not easy, when it come to talking to men for one thing. Like I said I have no clue how to put myself out there.

When it come to flirting I'm clueless. I don't how to flirt. Also if I picked up the body language that a guy's interested in me. I either tell myself that I'm wrong and the guy's being nice or I freeze. I have ran before. Like ran away from the whole soccer team at the university I attended.  Yup... there is a story there, sure is.  

Also I don't have a clue how to made the internet dating work for me either.

 I have a problem of thinking I'm not good enough to be loved, not in that way. I have a strange way of thinking that another girl would be better for this guy. I don't give myself much of a chance.

The same thing would be said for searching for a job. I don't have much confidence that I can do the job well. I haven't even got the job and I'm worried I'm not good enough. I didn't do my last job very well. I didn't have a clue, and the women who worked with me were so worried I'd take their job that they didn't help me.

I didn't want their job. When I started that job I was looking into going back to school and I thought about being a minister. Yes, a female minister. I was looking into going to seminary school. By the time I got laid off from that job ten months later I was so full of self-doubt I could feel it clawing at my back. I was no longer looking into going seminary school.

A few things happened in my family that it turned out not having a job meant I could help my family. It was a relief to do something good for my family.

But I was in a place where I thought I was bad a picking what I should do. Stuck in life. (still there)

To escape the self doubt I wrote novels.

But I had self-doubt there. About my writing. I mean I would think who I'm I kidding and write anyway. I wrote because I need to write. I needed to escape.  

By the way I wrote about my doubts with my writing in a short series:

Lack of Spelling Skill

Is My Story Good Enough?

Can I Write?

I have doubts about sharing this post with you.

I'm still searching for self-confidence.

I hope this help you realize you're not alone. 

A Writing Routine

My Writing Routine

Do I have a Writing Routine? Kinda.

Do I write every day? No.

Do I think about my novel every day? Yes.

Do I work on my novel every day. Yes.

So I'm still trying to figure out my writing routine. For the first time in my life working on my novel every day when it's not the summer or the month of November.

My usual routine was in the month of November, for a writing challenge called NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) I would start a new idea on the 1st. NaNoWriMo challenged a writer to write a novel (50,000 words) in a month In the 10+  years I have entered NaNoWriMo I never won. I never had 50,000 words before the stuck of midnight on November 30. The most I had was last year (2016). It was 25,707 words.

After NaNoWriMo I would write a little bit here and there on the novel. Once summer hit I would try to get my butt in a chair in front of a computer and finish my NaNoWriMo novel. I finished two first drafts this way. But they needed a lot of work.

Last year was not a new idea but a fresh take on an idea I tried to write the year before and the year before that.

I say that the first novel I wrote taught me how to write 50,000 words, but it didn't have a plot. In fact it had a three plots. If I couldn't think of anything to write I would write in another crazy direction. It taught me that I could sit down and write the words needed.

I say the second novel taught me how to hold the plot for the whole novel. I studied Michael Hauge's The Five Key turning points of allSuccessful Screenplays the whole time I wrote that one. I had index cards laid out on my floor for each of the stages and the turning points and would decide what I would write as I came to that point in the plot.

I didn't even try to edit that novel. Maybe one day I'll return to it.

This was my writing routine before.

In the last month and half I have tried to form a better writing routine. I finished this year NaNoMoWri novel during the summer, (Really it's a long outline and really the 3rd try to write this idea) I worked beyond the point where I would have stopped on previous novels. I started re-writing. Something I tried before. It's uncharted territory for me.

What I have learned in this month and half:

1. I don't type out words every day.

2. Writing isn't always about writing. Sometimes it's about figuring out what to write next.

3. When I can't write I need to read. It's like my creative is water in a well and it's running low.

4. It's good to have a supportive writing group, like #TurtleWriters over on Twitter. I have not found my writing group in real life.

5. So far the plan to get up and write first thing is not happening.

6. First coffee and a long moment in the comfortable chair in the den.  After I fix the third coffee I'm ready to write.

7. I have known for a long time I'm not a night owl. I must go to sleep!

8. I write a little bit here and there. I'm still trying to figure out when the best time for me to write.

This is my writing routine so far. This is what I do. You might do something different. You might need to learn what best for you. That what I'm trying to do.

This could change with another book. I have read many writer who wrote that each book is different.

What's your writing routine?

Pitch Wars Journey: About Me

About Me:

Hi, I'm Annie Laurie Gray. Yeah like the old Scottish song. It's a poem too by William Douglas. But I wasn't name after those. I was named after my great-grandmother.  

Here's an interesting fact: I think my name gave me a love of wanting to know more about names. I want to know anything about names from the meaning, how to pronoun, and to the family history behind how you got that name.

Another fact: I was born with hearing loss. I was born seven weeks early and lucky to be alive. Lucky that all that wrong with me was the hearing loss. Due to my hearing loss, and the fact that I couldn't hear (really I mean I couldn't understand a word said) in the lunchroom I daydreamed a lot as a child and teenager. Add in a love of story. (Any story: T.V. shows, movies or books,) it's no surprise I wanted to be a writer.

What I really want to tell you is: I have a goal. In a year I want to enter #Pitchwars. Every year it's start in August. I wanted to enter this contest for a few years now. I discovered it on twitter. I noticed a tweet about someone wanting a book, but it looked like an agent wish list but the person was not an agent but a published author. The tweet had a link that lead to the person wish list. Turned out that it was a wish list for a writing contest, and the person posting the wish list would be a mentor for a one lucky writer. I searched the wish list of a more of the mentors and realized that the novel I just started...well it fit the list. This knowledge encouraged me to write the novel.  I wanted to be that lucky writer!

Click for more information on Pitch Wars #Pitchwars 

But every year when August rolled around I saw all the tweets about Pitch Wars  but my novel wasn't ready. Plus I hated what I had written.

November would come and I would try again to write my novel. I loved the fact that I had a hard of hearing heroine like me, but the rest I never liked. For one I was writing about a thirteen year old, but I would start writing a love story meant for someone older. Finally I decided that my heroine need a older teenager. Also I was trying to write a contemporary novel. I was trying to show the life of someone with hearing loss.    

I hated it.

I felt like my life was about more than my hearing loss, even though my hearing loss influence my life every day, it's not my life. Why was I making it the life of my character? Also I noticed I was explaining what being hard of hearing was to my reader. I wanted to write about my character falling in love, and what it meant to her life, not how a hearing person need to see a person with hearing loss.

The other thing I was trying to write contemporary novel. I love reading contemporary novels but I wanted to write a story that hinting at something greater then ourselves. I wanted to write about God but not write a Christian novel. I wanted to write about the supernatural but again not something that took away from the contemporary story that I loved to read. I had a hard time finding a good balance between contemporary and paranormal.

I finally found something called Magical Realism and this helped me write what I hope was a modern fairy tale that featured my hard of hearing heroine.  

So last month (August) #Pitchwars rolled around again. Again my novel was not ready. But I knew I had a good story, finally. I wanted to enter so bad that I grained my teeth to the point that I had TMJ, (Temporomandibular joint dysfunction) Yeah, I wanted to enter that bad.

So I decided that I'm going to fix my plot holes, make my good story into a great story and enter next year. I would like to share my journey over the next year, here on my blog. I hope you follow me on my journey and it encourage you to follow your own dreams. 

Writing Insecurities Series: Can I Write?

The Writing Insecurities Series

 1.Lack of Spelling Skills

2. Is My Writing Good Enough?  

As writers we have at least one story inside of us. That story is begging to come out and exist. Some of us only write the story for ourselves but others write for an audience. For whatever reason we have to get the story out on the page.

My question is: Can I do that? Can I write the story inside me? If I can't, can I write well?

I struggled with this for the last few days. I'm working on (I think) my 4th draft of this novel. It wasn't until the 3rd try that I liked the plot of my novel. I read the 3rd draft and found I had a decent plot and liked most of the scenes I have written. But these scenes only added up to about 25,000 words and I noticed major plot holes. Like I didn't have a clear antagonist.

Despite this I knew I had a story I wanted to tell and a good structure to work with.

I have been working on putting this story in order and filled those plot holes. This week I had to write a few new scenes between scenes I had written in the 3rd draft. That when I remembered how hard it is to create fresh rare scenes. Maybe I'm more comfortable taken what I have written, and building on that to make a better scene. I struggle to get the image in my head on to the page or in this case the computer screen.

Since I struggle with putting the story into words I wonder can I really write?

I like to think I can.

Another thing I struggle with is the art of storytelling. One of my cousin and my brother are wonderful storytellers. My cousin has her audience laughing that whole time she tell her stories. My brother know how to engaged his audience the whole time.

I can't do this, not like they can.

This is another thing that make me wonder if I'm not a good storyteller, can I write well.

 I don't doubt I'm a writer. I write therefore I'm a writer but I doubt I can write well. The thing I have to keep reminding myself is there's are many quotes out there about Writing is really about the rewrite. 

Writing Insecurities Series: Is My Story Good Enough?

The Writing Insecurities Series:

1. Lack of Spelling Skills 

Last week I started writing about my writing insecurities. I started with my lack of spelling skills. Something small and with a little work easily fixed. Today I want to talk about one of my big writing insecurities. The question: is my story good enough?

I felt this question running through my head all week. As I wrote on my story, and when I studied my writing board full of post-in-notes where I have written down notes about scenes I have written, scenes I have re-written, and scenes I need to write.

Is my story good enough?

My novel is a romance written for Young Adults (Teenagers 13-18). It's about a girl with hearing loss, like me. Mercy was based on my teenage years. Like I said was, I don't think she as much like me as I have re-written this story a few times.

But this story is not about being hard of hearing. (Mercy's isn't deaf. There is a different) I tried to write that story. The one where the main plot was her coming to terms with her hearing loss. I hated that story, and hated the conflict Mercy had to deal with as she searched for a cure for her hearing loss.

Yeah!

I tried to write that story and hated it.

 So now the coming to term with her hearing loss is a sub-plot and doesn't involved trying to find a cure.    

I worried that since my novel is a romance, will that go over well? Will people say bad things about it, since it is about a teenage girl falling in love? Will it be better if I wrote a tragedy? Will it be compared to Twilight? Not in the good way but in the way that people complain about Twilight.

Also I wanted to write an contemporary novel but that not how my pantser writing mind works. I like to add magical elements to my story. So I ended up with a romantic magical realism(est) story. (It's not like the Latin American Literature that is the real Magical Realism.) I fear that someone will have something to say about that too. That I'm calling my story Southern  Magical Realism is a bad thing. It's not Southern Gothic. There's no ghosts. But I believe that The South has it's magical realism charm that doesn't involved ghosts or voodoo.  My Magical Realism charm involved coffee and a coffee shop.

Another thing about my story that I worry is about the heroine. There's in a lot out there about Deaf Pride. Thanks to the show Switched at Birth with a strong female Deaf character (the capital D means that they are part of the Deaf Culture) and people like the male model, Nyle DiMarco, and the actress Marlee Matlin to name a few. These people are happy and glad to be deaf.

Switched at Birth, Marlee Matlin, Nyle DiMarco

My character Mercy struggle with being Hard of Hearing. She's not what she wants to be: Hearing. It's how I felt as a teenager. I wrote this stories for teenagers who struggle with knowing who they are. I love all these wonderful role models for being Deaf, deaf and hard of hearing and prided of it. But I wanted to write about the struggle. I fear someone won't like the fact that my character isn't prided. And that she want to be Hearing, and not part of the Deaf Culture.  

That she isn't part of the Deaf Culture.

But see I wanted to write about my experience. I'm not Deaf (a person can be hard of hearing and be part of the Deaf Culture). To name one reason why: I don't use American Sign Language as my main form of communication.

So all that to say I worry is my story isn't good enough, and is it saying all the things I want it to say.

What are some of your writing insecurities? Do you have anything to say about being hard of hearing or deaf? Maybe something about Deaf Culture? 

Writing Insecurities Series: Lack of Spelling Skills

I think it's safe to say that all writers have some insecurities when it come to their craft or their stories.

 I'm going to start with something that non-writers think is a major obstacle: spelling. (BTW I had to Google obstacle to spell it.)

A little background information about me. I'm hard of hearing. I hear most voice sounds and low tones, but can't hear things like bells, whistles, birds singing. the S's sound and all the silent sounds related to it (ch, sh, st, sc for ex.)  Not hearing these sounds and having a hearing loss made the Friday's spelling test a pain in the butt for me and my mama. God Bless her for she helped me study for the test ALL WEEK LONG (May God bless her for her whole life just for that)  Spelling was study every week from the beginning first grade to (for me) Eleventh grade. I wanted to kill teacher for the Hard of Hearing Class when she told me  I had to still take spelling in the ninth grade.

I'm not kidding.

First day of ninth grade and she's my new teacher for my hard of hearing class. I blew up in her face, and screamed at her. I was told I wouldn't have to worry about "spelling tests" once I reached high school. It's not like me to get that angry, in fact it embarrassed me to no end once it's was over. (I rarely get mad, but crying another story)

(Why until Eleventh grade? I went to "regular" English class in Eleventh grade. Let's just say I was glad to leave that teacher behind. A post for another day)

Needless to say I'm insecure about my ability to spell well.  

Since I have dealt with my lack of spelling skills my whole life I have figured out ways around it, like googling the word or a phase that included the word. For Ex: I googled Major Obstacles for the word above. I don't see my lack of spelling skill as major obstacle for my writing.  But as long as I wanted to be a writer, (age 13)  other people have seen it that way and were not afraid to share their thoughts with me.  It's even showed up on my career exam in high school. Yes, I wrote on that thing I wanted to be a writer! 

I had goggling instead of googling in that paragraph. Anyone see a turkey I can consult about my spelling?

My thoughts have always been there's more to creating a story then spelling. That said; I'm afraid that since I'm hard of hearing I'm going to put wrong word down on paper. Sometimes I try to sound out word it's sound like the word I want to use. For example this Sunday or Monday one of the founder of a writers' group on twitter called #Turtlewriters asked the question

Are you a planner, a pantser or something in between?

If you would like to see this tweet feed click here.

 I answered and the autocorrect on my smart phone changed the word pantser to panther. I didn't noticed when I posted my tweet.  This started a bunch of silly tweets between me and another writer about panthers and autocorrect. I make THE MISTAKE. I wanted to say that I wanted to strangle autocorrect sometimes but instead I type straggle. I thought I had spelled the right word, I couldn't blame autocorrect this time.

But I had others in good humor point it out to me. I ended up laughing and joking about the mistake. All this made me happy that I found this writers' group. One that I make me feel right at home when I see their funny and sometimes crazy tweets.

I can easily over come my insecurity in my lack of spelling skill with autocorrect, spell check, Google or an oldie but a goody the dictionary. 

I had planned to give a list of my writing insecurities and why but instead decided to create a series about it. 

What are your writing insecurities? You are welcome to answer in the comments below.